A little background before I share the difference this book has made in my everyday life..
I work at a dental lab. You know.. the labs that make dentures. (I didn’t really know what it was either as I aggressively applied to a million jobs at one time.) I am a dental technician. My workplace is very Christian-based; not everyone in there is Christian, though the elderly man who owns it, is. He provides an opportunity to all employees a chance to speak with a Chaplin every week. Mr. Bill, good ‘ole Mr. Bill. This is not forced on any of the employees, it is just an opportunity. Well, I’m a small town southern girl. You give me a Chaplin and I’m going to spill my heart out, which I ended up doing. We talked about my kids, a little about my life, my parents, etc. Somehow or another I ended up talking about my love life. You don’t need the details of that.. because there aren’t any. Well Mr. Bill introduced me to “The Five Love Languages,” by Gary Chapman. It took me a while being that I’m not an avid reader, but I found my way to the nearest Barnes and Noble and got this book.
Now, this is not a story book, it’s not a mystery book, none of that. It is informative. You may skim through the chapters like I did, trying to see if you can skip a few pages. Don’t do it. Fight the urge of thinking you know everything or that its basic information. This book covers love languages. Not only does it cover love languages, it covers specific dialects of each language. So you may know what “words of affirmation” means, but do you know the dialects? You may know the language of “giving and receiving gifts“, but do you know the specific details of this action and examples of it? I won’t beat a dead horse here, but I encourage you to read this book to get a little detail on your love life or your significant other. It’s simple, yet so powerful.
My love language is Quality Time and Giving/Receiving Gifts. I don’t need diamonds or expensive purses, but a flower that my son picks for me while we’re spending time together walking down a path will mean more to me than he will ever understand. Walking into daycare to pick my kids up and being handed “Happy Mother’s Day” cards or “My Big Red Truck” with a sharpened colored pencil blob on a piece of paper will make my heart stop. My children were thinking about me (or maybe their teachers were), but you get the point. Don’t you? I know my love language. Now I am able to decipher my children’s so I can speak to them clearly. This doesn’t mean their “I love you, mommy” doesn’t absolutely make every mess and dirt stain disappear. This just means that my specific love language speaks louder to me than other languages.
“Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the world from your spouse’s perspective. We must first learn what is important to our spouse. Only then can we give encouragement. With verbal encouragement, we are trying to communicate.”
Ever since I have read this book, I have constantly tried to figure out my family and friends’ love languages. I try to find a way to make them understand how much they mean to me; after all, life is too short to not let people know that you love them. My best friend for example; her love language is Words of Affirmation. I can give her a hand-made gift that means a lot to her, but writing her a note of how awesome she is and how much I appreciate her speaks louder than that gift does. Why? Because it’s her language. You have to understand people’s language. If they don’t have the same language as you, you might give them 100 gifts because your language is Giving Gifts, but they might want you to just say “I love you.” Those gifts don’t mean as much as they do to you. Find their language, express yours and speak to one another. On a whole different level of languages. Speak each others Love Languages.
Now, I’ve rambled enough about this book. I know you’re about to explode from wanting to close your laptop or lock your phone so you can drive to the nearest book store. What are you waiting for?! GO! Don’t forget to find out your love language using the quiz in the back of the book! After you’re finished, let me know how you liked the book, what you may have learned, and what your love language is. I’m curious to know how everyone speaks.